It's been like 10 days since the doctor said "24-48 hours" - so she really did hang on, but Mom told me the last few days she was getting even worse, and today was quite bad. It really is a blessing for Oma as she was in quite a bit of pain in the end, and the release is good.
But I admit I got upset. It's all fine and well to put on a brave face "it's for the best" and "it will be a blessing when it happens", but quite frankly I seem to be taking this harder than my Mom! And she's been the one sitting there holding Oma's hand every single day. Maybe that's why. What an amazing woman my Mom is.
Theresa baby sat Duncan tonight while Bill and I went and saw Dark Knight - the new Batman movie and Mom, not knowing we were in a movie, called on the cell (don't worry, I had it on vibrate, so I didn't disturb the people around me). So I was rather distracted by that news for the last 10 minutes of the film (otherwise, Bill loved it. The Joker was creepy - very, very dark film).
Anyhow, what's done is done and she's now with my Opa, which I know will make her so happy. He's been gone for many years now. My Oma was a bit of a hard woman to get to know - seemingly very disapproving, but I know for a fact that she loved her children, and loved her grandchildren (and great-grandchildren) and always loved to share the accomplishments of others. I'm very happy she got to meet Duncan.
I think the upsetting part for me is the weirdness of grasping someone who has always been there not being there any more. I think it is hard for us to wrap our minds around the physical finality of death, even when we have our hope in the Lord.
And at that, very oddly, I am going to wrap this up with Heidelberg Catechism Q & A #1.
Q. What is your only comfort
in life and in death?
A. That I am not my own,^1
but belong—
body and soul,
in life and in death—^2
to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ.^3
He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood,^4
and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil.^5
He also watches over me in such a way^6
that not a hair can fall from my head
without the will of my Father in heaven:^7
in fact, all things must work together for my salvation.^8
Because I belong to him,
Christ, by his Holy Spirit,
assures me of eternal life^9
and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready
from now on to live for him.^10
1 1 Cor. 6:19-20
2 Rom. 14:7-9
3 1 Cor. 3:23; Titus 2:14
4 1 Pet. 1:18-19; 1 John 1:7-9; 2:2
5 John 8:34-36; Heb. 2:14-15; 1 John 3:1-11
6 John 6:39-40; 10:27-30; 2 Thess. 3:3; 1 Pet. 1:5
7 Matt. 10:29-31; Luke 21:16-18
8 Rom. 8:28
9 Rom. 8:15-16; 2 Cor. 1:21-22; 5:5; Eph. 1:13-14
10 Rom. 8:1-17
